I think it is fair to assume that most of us do not identify with being liars. Yeah, maybe we tell a white lie here or there, maybe we leave out the truth on occasion, maybe… But, the reality is, we lie to ourselves and to others
EVERY SINGLE DAY
and we may not even realize it.
Some of these lies that we tell ourselves are meant to make us happier, to make us feel better, to help others. However, they just become limiting beliefs that we set for ourselves which hold us back from fulfilling our potential and stepping into our power. In doing so, they take away from our happiness rather than add to it.
Here are 10 of the most common lies that we tell ourselves and others, and why we need to stop.
I can’t do anything about it.
There is nothing more defeating than relinquishing your power to act. Saying “I can’t do anything about it” tells your brain that there is no use trying to figure out a solution to a problem, so why would it waste its precious time? There is ALWAYS something that we can do, always. You may just need to change your perspective, take responsibility, and think outside of the box.
Life is not fair.
This is just an excuse hidden behind a blatantly obvious statement. By giving into the idea that “Life is not fair” we give ourselves permission to wallow in self-pity, to accept things as they are, and to compare ourselves to others. NONE of those things will help us progress in life. NONE. It is, essentially, just a cop out to avoid playing the hand that you are dealt.
I need a lot of things to be happy.
If you are constantly seeking for more things in your life to make you happy, then you will never actually attain happiness. Happiness is not a future goal to strive for, it is not some far off destination. Happiness is here, right now, waiting for you to open your eyes and find it. A new job, falling in love, buying a car- none of these things can MAKE you happy because in time, the initial emotions will inevitable wear off. What they can do, though, is ENHANCE your happiness. They can add to what is already there.
I’m not ready.
Maybe you’re not… but how will you ever know that if you do not try? We never actually feel ready to do anything worth doing. If you’re saying “I’m not ready” it is probably because you are scared, confused, uncomfortable with what you are about to do. THAT IS OKAY! Nothing gets accomplished when we do nothing… we don’t get better, we don’t get closer to our goals, we don’t grow. You are as ready as you’ll ever be… Go do it, whatever it is.
I don’t know what to do.
You may feel as though you are lost, confused, overwhelmed and just don’t know what step to take next. You may FEEL like that, but trust me when I tell you that it is not true. You always know what to do. Always. The key is just to get in touch with yourself enough to find the answers that lie within. If you feel as though you don’t know what to do, I would challenge you to ASK. Ask yourself, ask your friends, ask the universe. Sometimes, asking questions is the only way we can receive answers.
If I could just _____, then my life would be amazing.
Guys, life IS amazing. You do not need anything that you don’t already have to live an amazing life. You are limiting your happiness in the moment by longing for things that you don’t have and expecting them to drastically improve your life. No THING, no PERSON, no amount of MONEY can take a shitty life and make it amazing. You have to do that for yourself.
There’s not enough time.
Time is all that we have! There is enough time to do everything we want to do in life; the thing is, we have to prioritize it. We are never TOO BUSY for anything, we just choose to do certain things first. Next time you catch yourself thinking that there is not enough time in the day, I challenge you to revisit your priorities and see how you can make time appear.
It is better to give than to receive.
Most of us are givers by nature. We give everything we have to others, our time, our energy, our money. We give, give, give until there is nothing left. And why? Because it feels nice to help people? I am not saying that we should not help others when we have the opportunity, but I am saying- don’t forget that it is okay to RECEIVE as well! Notice how you react when someone gives you a compliment, when your mom slips a 20 in your pocket, when someone offers to help you with your groceries. Are you able to RECEIVE and be grateful or do you deflect? We must learn to both give AND receive if we want a truly happy, fulfilling life.
No one understands me.
Oh, honey. There are so many people out there in the world who will TOTALLY get you. They have been in your shoes, they know the direction you want to go, they are open, they are honest, they are supportive. And, YOU, you are deserving of that. You may have to look in different places to find your tribe; they may not be right out in the open. But, they are there, and they understand… because they are looking for you too.
I’m a failure.
We are not defined by our successes or our failures, our accomplishments or our mistakes. What we are defined by, though, is how we react to them. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to what happens to you.” Write your own story by the way you react, by your perspective on life, by the way you view the world.
PHEW! That was a lot of truth right there… a whole lot of truth. It is a lot to digest in one sitting, a lot to try and override all at once. Let’s take a minute and just breathe, and just BE.
Let’s take 5 deep breaths together. Get comfortable, sit up straight, and start to relax.
Exhale all of the breath out of your body.
Inhale for 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold at the top. Exhale for 4, 3, 2, 1.
Inhale for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold. Exhale for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Inhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold. Exhale for 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Now, take your last two deep breaths at your own pace.
Now that we have recentered ourselves, we are ready for this. It is time to be aware of the thoughts that go on inside of our heads and the words that come out of our mouths. It is time to kick limiting beliefs to the curb.
Repeat after me:
I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL CHALLENGE.
I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED TO BE HAPPY.
I AM READY.
ALL OF THE ANSWERS ARE WITHIN ME.
MY LIFE IS AMAZING.
I HAVE CONTROL OVER HOW I SPEND MY TIME.
I DESERVE TO RECEIVE.
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT ME.
I AM NOT MY FAILURES.